Bear Another's Burden

"To love is not to wish good for another person, it is to bear another's burden; that is, to bear what is painful for you and that which you do not bear naturally." - Martin Luther

This quote hangs in my kitchen. It has for the entire time this has been my home. I need this reminder.

Above is a picture from my rehearsal dinner, the night before my wedding. In this picture are the closest friends I have, save for MacGyver. All four of these people have been in my life since my earliest memories. We went to the same church, we went to the same school for our entire childhood. Two of them are my actual blood-relation sisters. The other two may as well be.

At relationships such as these - I'm pretty comfortable. We can laugh until we cry, we can share our deepest, darkest secrets, we can finish each other's sentences... there's no awkwardness. I guess the best way I could say it is that when I am with any of these people, I don't worry about what they think of me. I'm just me. They can take it or leave it, and since they've been taking it for 30+ years, I'm pretty sure they will keep it up.

As far as the rest of the world goes, I have a hard time feeling at ease. I love to watch people, I love to study them and figure out what makes them tick. If I could spend all day behind a one-way window and watch everyone without them seeing me I'd have a blast. And admittedly, if all the world were Facebook, I'd be the most outgoing, honest person you ever met. It's when I'm face to face with someone and I have to try to think of something intelligent to say while the whole time I inwardly obsess about what they are thinking of my appearance, my lack of wit and social skills... well, my tongue gets tied up in knots and I end up feeling like an idiot later after I've rehearsed all the different ways I could have handled that conversation.

But MacGyver and I agree on this - we want to have closer relationships with people. We really have it good. Our neighbors are all wonderful people, we enjoy being with family, and we've got lots of really great... acquaintances. But we want more. We want the kind of friends that are willing to stick with you when you're at your ugliest, when you can't give anything back. And we want to learn to do that for others as well.

So if you are one of our many really great acquaintances, (and I know you're reading - thank you for bothering to take the time both to read it and to let me know) we want you to know that we are ready to go out on a limb and form closer friendships. To learn how not to put on a front and be real. Be ourselves. Let other people see the fears we have about relationships. Let the iron of other people sharpen us to be better people, not just people who have enough social skill to maintain a cheerful conversation with you in the aisle at the grocery store or to wave across the street at you when we're out gardening.

This is a scary thing. That's probably why more and more people can't get past the surface relationships. But we're all missing out. I KNOW we're missing out, because I know how wonderful it is to have people who know me inside and out. But something tells me there should be more than there are.

So our goal for this next year is to make new friends, build deeper friendships and learn what true friendship is really all about.

If you know me, let me know when you and your family can come over for dinner. And I am not joking.

If you don't know me, then why don't you put yourself out there and make a new friend today?

And as for my dear dear sisters, thank you all for your friendships that have stood the battering of rough waters, and sailed through the highest seas with me. I love you all!