"I Told You I Was Sick"

I joke that I'm going to put this on MacGyver's gravestone if I have the opportunity. He's always a little worried that he's got some rare disease, but the truth is he's about the healthiest person I've ever met. He's the same weight he was at our wedding TEN YEARS AGO, no matter how many helpings he takes or how many boxes of ice cream he goes through. (If I say this to someone in his presence he immediately protests "No I'm not - I'm TWO pounds more!" I'm sure you can see the seething scowl on my face. You may have one too.) Yes, other than an extremely unfriendly relationship with poison ivy, he's got it going for him in the health department. Not the actual health department. Never mind.

Our children have apparently inherited his genes, at least so far. The eldest bursts into hives if a mosquito looks at her with longing, and the third can't wear sunblock as her skin apparently believes that sunblock IS the sun, but other than these things and a few quirks and spurts of illness here and there they are healthy.

Then there's me. There's no denying that I go to the doctor the least (except when I'm pregnant.) But I've always had problems. When I was little it was asthma attacks and all manner of illnesses. When I was a teenager I developed a digestive disorder and also began to struggle with my weight for no obvious reason. In my 20's the migraines hit,(the writhing in pain, throwing up variety) and I still get them at 33 about twice a week.

So this post is hard to write. Because I have tried so long and so hard to be healthy, and it always seems just one step out of my reach. I went the medication route to the point where I was taking dozens of pills a day, and now I try to avoid medication at all costs because it never seems to help and I end up with more symptoms. I've lost small amounts of weight countless times, and over 30 pounds three times in my life. It never seems to stay off, and I could whine and complain and tell you that it's not my fault, I've done everything right, but I'm afraid of giving up. If it's this hard when I'm trying to master it, what would happen if I gave up?

So this year's goals in health aren't going to be too different from any other year. I'm going to exercise as much as possible (goal of 4 hours a week, though I'm not there yet after childbirth that morphed into surgery) and I'm going to eat an all-natural, specially balanced diet that Jillian Michaels recommends in her book "Mastering Your Metabolism." She also has a few simple rules, though I haven't got into the habit of all of them yet, being recently pregnant. She says to 1. Eat four times a day. 2. Stop when you're full. 3. Never skip breakfast. 4. Don't eat after 9 pm. (This is along with purging all the processed food out and eating a balance of protein, fat and carbs.)

I'm with her on pretty much everything except the not eating after 9. Jillian has never had four small children. Jillian doesn't understand that sometimes Moms don't even GET to eat until 9 pm. But I'm working on it. That's probably my biggest goal. I will get there!

My ultimate goals are to hone my diet and exercise to the place where I am symptom free digestively (my spell check insists this is not a word but I've decided that it is) and migraine-wise, and to lose 50 pounds.

A few wonderful things I've discovered so far in the past few weeks since changing our diet to all-natural:

1. Trader Joe's is the coolest place ever. Whole Foods is too, but Trader Joe's manages to keep the coolness at a more reasonable price.

2. You'd be surprised how healthy you can eat even if you just shop at Walmart. There are more organic/all natural options all the time.

3. Migraines improve with this diet change. At least mine have. In the past 4 or 5 weeks I have only had ONE full-fledged migraine. This is astounding to me.

4. Organic food really does taste better.

5. After a few days of whole and all natural foods your body stops craving the junk and starts detesting it. Seriously. Even more than that, your body starts to crave things like fruit and vegetables. There are other things I've noticed but if I listed them you wouldn't believe me. You'll just have to try it yourself and see.

So there you have it. I'm on notice. You'll ask me. "Miranda, are you exercising four hours a week? Are you staying true to that balance? Are you NOT EATING AFTER NINE?"

I'll say "Absolutely." I hope.