To Know Them is to Love Them

I have too many pictures. It took me a good half hour to find that one.

MacGyver and I watched a comedian named Brian Regan on Netflix the other day. He was talking about how we as adults do not really try to put ourselves in children's places. He was saying that he saw a little boy crying because he'd lost his balloon, and the parents just hushing him as if it weren't important. He said maybe we should think of the balloon as our wallet or purse and then we might understand a little more what they are feeling.

Of course, when he said this it was very funny and everyone laughed. I realize that I have lost something in the translation. But the idea of that stuck with me. Kids have to understand that sometimes balloons fly away. But there's no reason we can't sympathize.

I've been thinking about my crew and wondering if sometimes I am too harsh, too busy, too OLD to think about my children as people. I know I can definitely get to the place where it's been awhile since I built a fort and shot the monsters, played peekaboo 700 times, danced the hokey pokey until I'm winded, or listened to the tales of imaginary horses and superheroes.

So I've made a goal in my relationship with my kids. To be intentional in the way that I relate to them. We went on a walk last week when the weather was absolutely perfect. I said "Okay, tell me about anything you want."

Eldest told me every single fact she could think of (and she knows many of them) in relation to horses. The breeds, caring for them, what it might be like to ride one. I asked her "Why do you love horses so much?" She really thought about it and said "I was made to love horses, I guess."

I turned to my Second-born and asked him what he'd like to talk about. "Spiderman. And Batman." Now I must say that I have not allowed my 4 year old to watch Spiderman or Batman. The only thing he knows of them is the pictures on his T-shirts and caps. Or so I thought. I asked "What do you love so much about them?" and he concentrated hard and finally answered "Because they can fly. Because they are strong. I want to be strong like them." (We did have a bit of a discussion about how Spiderman and Batman don't technically fly. I told him Superman does fly, and that's why he's MY favorite superhero. But he stuck with his first answers.)

I guess my point is that I'm realizing it's not just my job to feed them and clothe them and teach them how to act right in society. They are people, and beneath all the chatter that might sound like nonsense to an adult, there are real feelings and interests and dreams. To know them, and to love them completely and help them find their wings, I have to understand what the childish gibberish means.

So I'm determined to listen more. To be on their level more, even if it seems silly or too much of a chore. I'm going to take the time to do it. I don't want to wake up in 20 years and find out they all left to go off to live before I figured out who they were. I want to discover who they are right along with them. And so I commit to take the time.