OFF #4 Flash Nonfiction from the Mind of a Writer

She set her fingers to the keyboard. From the back of her brain only recently freed from the confines of pregnancy hormones came scenes of highest adventure, deepest mystery, purest romance…

Screaming baby.

She ran up the stairs, suddenly reminded of the fact that it had been exactly 10 days since she had last exercised. Formally.

Back to the table. Deep breath. Fingers poised on the keyboard. She checked. Left on ASDF. Right on JKL:. Thumbs ready for action on the space bar.

This took her back to high school typing class. Fun times. And for once a subject had really come in handy on a regular basis for her entire adult life. Go figure.

Toddler crying.

Pause. Will she cry again? Will Husband tend to her? She hears his footsteps. He goes into the kitchen instead.

She checks the clock. 10:32 p.m. There’s still time. She can write her fiction and still have it posted by midnight.

Husband goes silent. What is he doing in the kitchen? He better not be making a mess. I just got it cleaned up.

FOCUS!

Rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat… the dog on the chair next to her shakes and barks in his sleep as he chases some imaginary cat.

Time for the story. Where shall I go? Ancient Greece? The Byzantine Empire? Victorian England? Or perhaps deep into the heart of mid-to-late nineteenth century Texas?

What was it about Westerns? It seemed like no matter who you were and no matter what skill level you possessed as a writer, if you wrote a book that was either a Western or an Amish tale, there was some rule that meant you were to be automatically published.

So why had she been told time and time again in her studies as a writer and at various workshops and conferences that you shouldn’t write westerns or Amish books because they’d never get published?

It was a conspiracy.

Enough! Time to write!

Rats. Twenty words over. Twenty-four words over. Time to quit.

Dare You

This is my toddler. Hugging a gravestone. Laughing with glee. She comes by her weirdness honestly, at least.

I've been inspired. I was thinking over all the recent weighty discussions (haha, no pun intended...) and trying to think of moving on with something a little easier. If you have no interest in trying something new, you better leave now. Because I've got quite the challenge for you.

The first part. A debate. This is a sort of fun debate, because there is really no wrong answer, it being a simple preference based mostly on personality. (I think??) Simply put, which is better, Fiction or Non-Fiction?

You might name the two camps thus: Fiction is for people who have Attention Deficit Disorder and have to be tricked into thinking. Non-fiction is for people who have absolutely no imagination.

Which position do you subscribe to? Why? Anyone living a double life and catering to both equally?

I shall give my position, since this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. I read 95% fiction. Now, my 5% of nonfiction may actually be a larger quantity than someone else's 100% due to my actual volume of reading, but still, you are far more likely to grab my attention with a story that isn't true, or at least one that's written that way. For example, if you want to teach me about growing a good potato, it's best that you make the potato farmer a beautiful yet misunderstood young woman living in 1734 in Ireland who meets a really strong, yet sensitive and good looking guy who at first spars with her but ultimately falls madly in love with her. You'll do even better by me if they end up getting married and inventing the time machine together and go back in time to save the lost city of Atlantis where they find a colony of aliens who have been living in cognito on planet earth for three hundred years. Now that's a potato book that I will stay up all night to read.

Sorry. Can you tell I love to write fiction? ...Any kind of fiction?

How about you? What floats your boat? What sets your sails? Tell us about it. Tell us why you feel that way. Pretend its the most important debate you'll ever take upon your humble soul. Feel free to be snarky, sarcastic, opinionated and hotheaded, as in the end it's all in good fun and we'll all pretty much keep reading whatever we want to read regardless of what anyone says.

Then the challenge. A little more difficult. I dare you to read whatever it is that you don't usually read. Expand your horizons. For me, this requires that I actually take a look at "How to Sell Your Novel" which has been patiently waiting at the bottom of my library bag for a few weeks. What does it mean for you?

Oh, and in all your snarkiness, make sure you advertise the best book you ever read.

And tomorrow I have an even scarier challenge for you!

And just so you know, spell check doesn't think snarky is a word.